sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
