I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
