Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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