HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize