matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
