Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
