Whod you bang
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
