guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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