M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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