u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
