It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
