I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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