Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
