you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
