she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
