none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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