i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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