if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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