hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
