The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
