sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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