Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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