i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
