She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
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I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
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You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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