You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
