I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
