u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
