I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
