So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
