you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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