you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
