he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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