Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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