super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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