roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
