singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
