we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
