Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
