i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
