Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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