DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
