Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
