I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
