Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
