I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
