I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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