Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
