What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
