there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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