Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
