i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
