Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
