I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
third nipple confirmed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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