Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
