she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize