I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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