Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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