Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
