another moral hangover. fuck.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
