Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
