He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
