...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize