More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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