So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
