under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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