Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
